Bully Awareness Day

Today is Bully Awareness Day.  To acknowledge that at Freeman, we encouraged all students and staff to wear BLUE.  The word “bully” has developed to be quite the buzz word around schools, households, and with media.  I don’t think 20 years ago the word bully was even used.  Sure there were things that took place that was called bullying, but perhaps there just wasn’t a word for it yet.  I remember kids being bullied in school growing up.  In fact, if you are a girl and have survived the teenage years, I am sure you have experienced some bullying of some kind.  It’s a natural part of growing up.  Is it something that should be tolerated?  No!  Does it happen?  Yes!

In August, I read a book to the students called, The Little White Owl, by Tracy Corderoy and Jane Chapman.  It’s not a book that I would necessarily classify as a bullying book, but there are some characteristics that makes me think it could be.  The story is about a little white owl who lives by himself. One day he set out to explore the world and found a whole tree full of colorful owls.  He tried to be friends with them, but the beautiful, colorful owls told the white owl that he was plain, he didn’t belong and to go away!  The little white owl pleaded with the others to give him a chance.  In the end, they all became friends because they discovered their uniqueness and that how you look on the outside doesn’t tell the whole story of what you are like on the inside.

I love the message the book sends about how we are all special and unique in our own ways.  I told the kids that the colorful owls just didn’t know what the white owl was like and they were a little intimidated by him. But once they got to know each other, they decided they were pretty cool and became friends.  I also used the saying, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” 

Each year in school, bullying issues come up.  It’s a very sensitive and delicate topic.  I think as a society, we are really quick to use the “bully” word.  It’s our job to educate students and their families about what true “bullying” is and how to deal with it. 

By definition, according to the website: www.stopbullying.com :  Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. 

Sometimes students have disagreements or conflicts with other students, but that doesn’t mean that they are bullying.  If a person looks at you wrong, it’s not bullying.  If someone argues with you, that’s not bullying.  If you purposely make someone feel bad and you know it, THAT’s bullying.  If you seek power over others, and get other people to join in with you, THAT’s bullying.  Here are some helpful ways to distinguish between conflict and bullying.

Normal Conflict

* Equal power/friends
·         Happens episodically
·         Accidental
·         Equal emotional reaction
·         Remorse
·         Effort to solve problem

Bullying

·       *Imbalance of power
·         Repeated pattern of behavior
·         Intentional
·         Unequal emotional reaction
·         Blames target
·         No effort to solve
·         Seeking power

Bullying is a serious issue.  It is something that shouldn’t be ignored.  Talk to you children about bullying and ways that they can stand up for themselves, or people that they can reach out to, to talk about it.  Probably one of the biggest ways to help your child is to monitor their social media usage and what they are doing with it.  It’s important to watch out for not only if your child is bullying, but also if your child is doing the bullying!  It’s always a good idea to have your child’s passwords and logins, watch what they are doing on their phones, computers, iPads, etc.  It also teaches your child responsibility and respect.  Of course, any time you have concerns or questions about bullying, always talk to the teachers and administrators at your school.